Saturday, December 17

Well, excuse me princess!

    What the fuck is Kwanzaa?.. I was watching this shitty ass movie the other day called Into the Blue... Maybe you had the misfortune of watching that piece of garbage... It's something like 2 and half hours of seeing a half naked Jessica Alba (which I enjoyed) and Paul Walker (which the woman enjoyed - a little too much if you ask me)... The highlight of the movie was a quick nipple shot when Ms. Alba was trying to get away from some mexican attempting to drown her... She was swimming to the surface and the only thing he had to grab onto before being eaten by sharks was her right tit... I say go for it man... If I was about to drown / be eaten, I'd want one last feel too... Anyhow, with all the lawsuits that are being handed out for internet movie piracy and the like, it's a wonder why we can't countersue them for all the time and money wasted on garbage like this... However, I feel that it was mostly my fault... With all the advertisements, posters, trailers, and pictures of the movie - I knew what I was getting into...

    Finally dropped below 60 degrees out here (for today only i assume)... Mother nature finally has some sympathy for me... There was something I was going to say... maybe I'll figure it out.... midget porn... camomille... ethernet... stargazing... beer... OH BRB....TOPEKA!.. High definition television... that was it.. I was reading an article the other day that said that 76% of people don't even realize that they need extra equipment to watch high def programming on their tv... 68% of people think that EVERYTHING they watch on their tv, no matter what the source, is high def (their tv automatically converts everything into a better looking... thing).. This site will show you the size differences between a 4:3 ratio and a 16:9 tv... We here have a 61" 4:3, and the calculations show that it's a 56" widescreen viewable... So why would anyone buy a 56" widescreen when they would lose the top and bottom of the tv when 90% of all media is 4:3... Complete waste of money if you ask this drunk bastard... I have to pee, so that ends this post...


Sunday, December 4

FSMas time again!

    Kinda bummer of a winter when you spend it in one of the warmest places in the United States... I was playing around with the Xbox's media center functionality, when I looked up the local weather (click for bigger pic).. 70 and sunny for the rest of the week, and it's the beginning of DECEMBER... I bet Santa will be sweating his jolly ol' balls off in his thick red suit when he comes down my chimney this fsmas... How does that fat ass survive when he has to go to hot ass places like Afghanistan and Iraq?.. Oh right, he won't be going there because they're ALL TERRORISTS!!.. No presents fo yoo!..

    Oh, some of the funniest shit EVER!... The Pirate Bay (being a bit torrent indexing site and all) has received a countless number of legal threats to their website administrator... Take a minute and read a few of them, he has a great sense of humor (and isn't intimidated since he knows the limits of the law)... The Xbox360 is being reported by CNet as consuming 160 watts of power.. for all you non-electronics engineer types out there, it basically means "360 takes alot of electricity"... This list shows you a list of common household appliances and their wattage consumption.. Now keep in mind when looking at these rates, that these numbers are mostly only a temporary factor (for instance - a microwave oven runs at 750 watts, but it is typically ran for only 3 minutes a day; while the Xbox 360 is typically ran 24/7 for the nerdboy stay-at-home types)... So, in terms for us Californians, that turns out to be an extra $3,000 in our electric bill every month!.. Keep that in mind when you buy the Xbox for your kids... Selling your youngest for slave labor brings home some serious extra cash, so keep that in mind with all those holiday bills coming your way... Oh, and has an in-depth article about all those scratched discs you're getting with your new system... It's late, so I go to bed now...


Monday, November 28

012390N 71241LZ012!!

    Looking around the internet today, found alot of kick ass shit... So much to say, where should I start?..

    If you're a big of fan as I am with older games, or just online and looking for something other than porn, make sure that you check out 1980 Games... They have a list of games that you can play online that will bring a much deserved tear to your eye, such as: Frogger, 1942, Galaxian, Excitebike, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!, and the original Sonic the Hedgehog... People say that the sound on these games are a little bit off, but hell - free is free... In comparison Every Video also has an extensive list of games ranging from 3-D World Runner to Zoop...

    Gaming on a keyboard can be a little weird for those of us that are used to the old style gaming pads though, so that's when you wanna check out Mame for your nostalgic gaming purposes... The games, or 'roms' as they're known, may be found through the usual peer to peer or internet downloading channels; but you may also try your luck at Mame World to find what you're looking for... I hear good things about them... Now, if you're a fan of older DOS based games, give the Dos Games Archive a click... Now, if you're having a hard time finding that gem in the rough, *cough* *cough* OREGON TRAIL *cough*, check out Classic Gaming or Zophar's Domain for more info... Now I'm sure that there are some legal issues with some of these games, so if you get caught downloading roms that you don't currently own the rights to, you may wanna get some practice in on this 'handy' little item before heading up the river... However, I seriously doubt that the Atari 2600 police "RPG Division" will be banging down your door anytime soon...

    Now, if you don't like using typical computer based gaming controllers, a quick google search gives some useful info on USB to gamepad adapters such as these Super Nes, Genesis, or for the handy do-it-yourself modder - this NES adapter... Which I can proudly say I have done a parallel port version on my NESPC computer (which may be seen at Sachz Vintage Gaming)...

    Here's some more free shit before I go - Free Shick Intuition, 6 months of Playstation Magazine, and 12 months of Computer Gaming World...

Sunday, November 27

Absolut Thanksgiving

    If you come across a spelling / grammar error, ignore it - I be fuckered up off of the liquor... Thanksgiving was great... If I ate any more turkey, I would have exploded and infected the entire country with the supposed 'avian flu'... That thing scares the shit out of me.. A whole 11 people have been infected so far!!.. With the odds of infection at a whopping 11:6,000,000,000 it's a wonder why we're not all dead!! BE WARNED!!!

    There has to be something a binge drinker can complain about... Xbox, the 360 seems to be a whopping piece of garbage... Seems that people are experiencing horrible graphical issues, overheating, and lack of backwards compatibility... The system, however, does a little justice with it's usb device connectivity and it's windows media center integration... Plus you can look really cool with your Xbox 360 hat from the Xbox Gear Store, and there's some hope yet with running linux on your $400 piece of machinery... It may be justifyable afterall...

    Funny shit though, Sony of all freaking people - which has been in the news recently with it's "Rootkit" bullshit, has made more headlines this week with some 'Anti-360' propoganda... If my drunk ass read correctly, it seems that they paid some people to spread malicious rumors of overheating issues that cause the 360 to crash... Way to get your name out of the gutter Sony!..

    Now onto drunken babble: I found a way to cook breakfast on your computer's processor (courtesy of Hack-a-day)... Put that old AMD XP+ processor to good use... A 1.8 Ghz CPU isn't worth a crap now anyhow, unless you like the word processing... And how can anyone miss the new Aeon Flux movie?!?... It doesn't look like they put it together in 5 minutes, gererated the script with some sort of online java program, or half assed the characters with any sort of stereotypical secret agent generic bullshit... Hopefully, my html coding and typing ability doesn't make me seem tooooooo retarded... [H]ouse be on, so I be off... L8!!!

Wednesday, November 23

You Get That Thing I Sent You?

    Well, the concert last night was rad... But of course I forgot my camera again, so no picture fo yoo!..

    It turns out that Sony has finally released more information regarding the Playstation 3's release in mid-2006... With the overwhelming response to the Xbox 360 game console at its $400 price point, Sony will release their system for "under $400" (read: $399.99 9/10 + tax)... Update: Turns out this is bogus information fueled by some misinformed publishers... This is a large difference from the previously stated $650 price tag originally told by Sony execs... Their hardware in their PS3 console system costs well over that with the included $1,000+ next gen high definition / high density Blu-Ray dvd drive... Sony told the press that "...the PS3 will initially be sold at a significant loss in order to drive the Blu-Ray next-generation DVD standard out into the marketplace.".. (Microsoft is stated as losing $126 for each Xbox sold)

    For those unfamiliar with the next-gen dvd war - Blu-Ray (Sony's brainchild) holds 25GB on a single layer whereas HD-DVD (Toshiba's bitch) will hold 15GB... This will more than definately give Sony the edge in the entertainment industry come PS3's release... But it should be noted that no game developer as of yet has maxed out the storage capacity of a standard dvd disc... Good news for Microsoft...

    To further entice the deal, Sony said, ".. [the PS3] will come with a bundle of games, movies, and TV shows, many of which Sony also makes.".. It might just be worth the wait afterall... So to help the normal "I don't know which fuckin system to buy" person, I decided to make this little chart to make it easier to decide between the two systems...

Should You Waste Money on a "Next-Gen" Game Console?

  Xbox 360 Playstation 3
Manufacturer Microsoft Sony
Processor Custom IBM PowerPC CPU @ 3.2GHz Cell Processor @ 3.2 GHz
Graphics Custom ATI Processor RSX "Reality Synthesizer"
Memory 512MB (shared with CPU & GPU) 256MB (down from 512 as speculated)
Storage 20GB Removable 2.5in Removable Hard Drive (size not released)
Optical Medium Dual Layer DVD Blu-Ray DVD
Video Support 480p, 480i, 720p, 1080i 480i, 480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p and Dual Screen support
Backwards Compatibility Not 100% - Click for list of games Full
Controller Support 4 Wireless
(2.4 GHz)
7 Wireless
Other Connectors 3 USB 2.0
2 Memory Slots
Ethernet Port
6 USB 2.0
CF Slot (I, II)
SD Slot
Memory Stick Mem Stick Duo
1 x Optical Audio
Logo Text Arial Bold Spiderman Movie Font
Screen Shots Click Here Console and
Misc. Shit Mod-able? Region Free

Sunday, November 20

Whew... About Time!

    I know this comic isn't funny, but it's just one of those self-congratulatory things that needed to be done to signify the end of a long stupid ass "a;sldkfj" class!.. I have so many of these formulas floating in my head from the recent 48 hour cram session, that I'm pretty much empty when it comes to shit to write... I added a link to VG on the right sidebar under "Bamf Shit"... If you're a huge fan of video game music, this is a great site to get songs that have been composed by clever computer musicians all over the internet... If your cell phone supports custom ringtones, upload some of these songs and show off your nerdy personality... I recommend Super Mario World, F-Zero, MegaMan, Double Dragon, and Mike Tyson's Punch Out!.. I'm gonna go make myself a drink and pass out for the next day or two... Oh, I'm heading to The Eagles concert on Monday night.. maybe I'll remember the camera this time... I'll post again when I wake up from my self-induced coma of Red Bull and Vodka...

    Edit: I am super ultra mega bored with all this damn free time on my hands, so I made a new banner for I added the new one to this page... Drop me a line, and let me know if you likey.. :D

I'm Incredibly Bored

    I drank about a thousand Mountain Dews so I could cram a whole 11 weeks worth of Advanced Calculus homework and Exams into a one night cram fest for tomorrow's final... I'm such a bad ass that I only need a 23% to pull off a C... GOD I'M AWESOME!!. I did me a few tweak projects to help slow my brain down a bit; one of them featured above... My freakin heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest...

    This just drives me insane... Microsoft and major retailers all over the world are claiming shortages of the new Xbox console won't nearly reach the demand... Yet, they give new systems away to people that A). won't make good use of it... B). dont' know what they have... and C). don't care what they have... Oh, if you're a vintage gaming nut like myself, download this .rar file... it's a compilation of many great songs done, as if they were featured on an NES soundtrack... You can get WinRar from or click the link on the right sidebar


    I forgot to bring my camera with me to the show last night, so we ended up picking up a silly disposable one in it's place... After we get the pictures developed / scanned, they'll be posted :)... Well, looks like I'll be awake well into next week, so I'm gonna go regrout the bathroom now...

.... L8-G

Thursday, November 17

3egin 6rand 0pening

    Turns out that all the Mountain Dew, misc. contest winners and major video game review / hardware companies have received their Xbox 360s for initial disassembly... You may check out Anandtech (known for their their in depth hardware reviews, tutorials, and Hot Deals forum) or electronics guru The Soft Life's blog that goes in-depth on the TSOP chip... As any veteran Xbox modder knows, "...the TSOP was used by Microsoft on the original Xbox (revisions 1.0 through 1.5) to store the bootstrap code. ....The modchip effectively replaced/bypassed the on-board TSOP, with a user friendly and writable method of negating Microsoft security code."... With any luck, the ability to mod the 360 won't be far away... With such a large community... such a large community... large community, it should be a faster process than Xbox 1.0...

    Well, I'll be heading out to the Audioslave / Seether / some other band (I forgot) concert tomorrow in Long Beach... The wife wanted to go see it, so I guess that means that I do as well :) ... Don't quite understand the purpose of concerts to begin with... Like movies, they really serve no purpose other than a few hours away from the home in a very crowded, very expensive 'arena'... If I want to hear music by a band, I'll save the $60 used for the concert tickets, and purchase every cd they produced so I can listen to them as many times as I like... However, being married also means that I forgot how to make decisions for myself - i.e. what to wear, what to eat, where to go for tonight's entertainment, political standpoints, and local issues... Good thing too, cuz I'd probably be in jail by now from all the stupid ideas that pop in my head... I'll post pictures manana...

... PEAS!

Tuesday, November 15

Die Already!.... FUCK!

    There's only ONE thought when I see those clouds and hear that intro song starting up... CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!! QUICK!!... God damn, the fucking Simpsons... How many more episodes does the Fox Network have to put on the air before they call it ENOUGH!??!... They have to be in season 93204756032 by now... How many topics can a cartoon family with a retarded father, a wife with bride of frankenstein hair (episode 42), and three kids that wont age, cover?!.. They've been to space, communicated with alien life, became sports stars, a musical hit, seen the future, been to hell / heaven, came back from the dead, done every "world's most _____" scenario possible, race car drivers, been on tv countless times, put numerous people in jail, the list goes on... The only novelty to watching any repeats is, if by some REMOTE chance, forgotten a line to one of the many "classics" - so you may brush up on your simpsons knowledge... Maybe one day, Jeopardy will ask Simpson trivia questions, and the pain we suffer will all be worth it...

    This guy has the right idea... I would love to wander around the city of Springfield, wherever the fuck that is, and blast everything in sight... Remember when they were interesting?... Back in Junior High when Mr. Burns was shot?.. Everyone was freaking out over the whole mystery that would be solved when summer vacation ended?... Mr. Burns died? Holy shit!... WRONG!!! NO ONE WILL EVER DIE!!!! We'll be seeing that annoying ass family when we're well into our 90s... Sitting in the retirement village, gumming our food.... and that fuckin baby will still be 2 - or however old she is... They haven't quite flooded the market yet with their millions of Simpsons games... Clue, Operation, Dominoes, Uno, Magic 8-Ball, Chess, video games, decorations.... A:L S KG FU KFUC K.. I need to go drain the vein in my forehead... Guess I'll go watch CSI: Pube Investigation with a gun in my mouth, and my big toe on the trigger...

... Peezout Dawg

Monday, November 14

Vintage Gaming Quizzage!

    I need to fuckin go to sleep... BUT NO!.. I have to be up playing with flash AGAIN!.. God... I would be a rich man if 'fuckin off' and 'wasting time' were my job... Hey, look at that, The Three Stooges is on... YES!... Oh, here's why I'll be tired as fuck in the morning:

... if all goes well, i'll sleep well tonight :D... PIECE!!

Sunday, November 13

Maf Sukz

    Well, it's another day... There has been a serious lack of activity here at Sachz Inc.. I haven't done any work this quarter in my online advanced calculus course, so I've had to spend the last couple days learning 11 weeks of course material for the final on Wednesday... I figure another 8 hours in front of the book, I should be good... ANYHOW...

    I know alot of people have been caught in the web of the online auction site eBay... I've been ripped off more times than I would like to mention... However, this guy takes "aggressive sales pitch" to a new level... The man threatened - "I know exactly where you fucking live. E-mail me again and see what happens to your little bitch ass." ... Wow... Speaking of dumbasses, people on eBay are selling the new Xbox system for over $4,000... I read that they're all sold out until 2006.. they have 3 million pre-orders, and only 400,000 units for all of North America (which is well below their 1 million projected production)... Oh, I love this [link] :

"...the outer casing of the Xbox 360 won’t have any screws and will feature a number of tamper evident labels. So if you’re a half-assed hacker that decides to crack open the box, but then decide you want to exchange it for a new one, good luck. Warranty voided, pal."

    Oh yeah... If you're already opening the system, you could pretty much say that you could give half a fuck about getting another one... When I purchased my first Xbox, I had spent over $750 in games - and not ONE of them was any good... The only game worth purchasing is Halo... So when I learned that you could 'mod' the system many years ago, and turn it into a multimedia machine, I tore that fucker open with my bare teeth... SOMETHING needed to justify all the money that I poured into the damn thing... You could guess what I don't want for Christmas - a 360... However, if you're lookin for something to get me, check out - A lockpick set, 19" Monitor, Video Card, FSM Shirt, and Processor

... I gawtta go do the maf thing naw... So I be back later... 131213 N1994!

Monday, November 7

A Big Stupid DooDoo Head!

    Another day... Another beer... Where to begin... After discussing personal finance issues (read: broke as fuck) with my wife, we came to the decision that we should either A). Eat our first born to survive another week... B). Rob a bank then buy a ton of lottery tickets... or C). Videotape ourselves having a Top Ramen eating contest then send it into ESPN so we can be the spokespeople for a new sport... Fuck it.. there are more important issues... Like how did this guy learn how to read and write?.. It's fucked how someone with the intelligence of a fruit fly can be richer than a brain surgeon, pilot, and astronaut combined... For example, the most downloaded cell phone ring for 2005 made my spellchecker go fuckin' nuts...

    Oh fuck, almost forgot, was watching this Family Guy episode for the three thousandth time when I noticed something in the background... Click the picture to see... Oh, if you have any kids at home that enjoy Pokemon, check out Circuit City this week for a free Gamecube game and sticker... Well, I have 6 weeks of Calculus homework to do, so I bes b off G.. L8z dawg... Don't forget to watch all new episodes of Aw Yeah Dawg! on Upn starting December 5th!

... the life of the wife is ended by the knife

Saturday, November 5

Introducing the Googleplex!

    It's not easy for a small company like ours to stay ahead of the competition... We aren't able to afford the upkeep on our illegal workers... They're always constantly wanting their native dishes of tortillas with stuff in them... What's with that anyhow?.. Why are there a million different names for "Tortillas with Stuff"?.. Tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas, taquitos, burritos, nachos, etc... What was I talking about?...

    OH - The All New GOOGLEPLEX!.. Razor companies have come out with their pussy ass 3 blade, 4 blade, and even 5 blade monstosities... But why stop at getting just the hair off your face... Our new Googleplex will take off 8 layers of skin so you'll never have to worry about shaving (or getting a date) again... Our Dual Purpose design will allow you to donate pints of blood while you rid yourself of your unsightly 5 o'clock shadow... Available at your local S&M store.. Pick one up today!..

    What else did we do today?.. I found this really kick ass (read: nerd) website that shows off all kinds of personalized license plates... Plus we also were helping out Sprite develop a new slogan that would better reach the youth of today - Mamato, & Obey... Let us know what you think!


Friday, November 4

Internet Fuc.... er... fun

    I believe with Phronk's link to the dress up Jesus game, I have wasted so much time online that I missed my kid's first steps, first words, first... Ah who cares?.. The internet is more important... So it felt good when I found more retarded shit to do in cyberspace... Create your own M&M just in time for the holiday season... And as you can see, I've already created my own...


Reader Mail

    I've been incredibly ill... AGAIN!... So work around here has been at a standstill.. Our migrant workers have not been performing as well as that guy on the boat said they would... I want my $50 back!.. You hear me Raul!??!?... Anyhow, on to business... Amongst all the letters that we get here at Sachz Inc., we receive only about 30% worth of comments that actually praise the hard work our employees do... People don't realize that we work our asses off 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... Being the person in charge, I have to make command decisions so we can make our deadlines; alot of the time playing the role of the bad guy and making the entire company work through the weekends and the holidays... Which makes me very sad to say that we receive alot of hate mail... Just last week I opened my inbox, deleted the flood of spam that I receive on a daily basis, and I am forced to sit and read through a ton of garbage - in hopes that some positive criticism could be attained...

Dear Mr. Sachz,

    It has come to my attention that your company is the sole manufacturer of what your company calls, "Mighty Kid" accessories. How can you sleep at night knowing that your toys are allowing children everywhere to think they can perform superhuman feats? I have purchased many Sachz Inc. products before, but I can say that I refuse to anymore. Last week, my 15 year old son Jacob (god rest his soul), put on your "Superhuman Cape" and jumped off of our 6th story balcony thinking that he could fly. The last thing that I told him was that we were out of milk, and he should go and get some at the store. Needless to say he couldn't fly and he fell straight down onto a homeless man begging for change below. Enclosed is a summons to court for your willful wrongdoings. I hope to personally see you there so I can slap the shit out of you. May god have mercy on your soul you horrible, horrible man!

-Eleanor B.
Lakeside, WI


    Well Eleanor, looks like humankind was lucky on this one... Two birds with one stone: your obviously retarded teenager and a common street peddler... I think we should get a serious tax break for performing such a service... Tell you what though, enclosed in our response is a 10% off your next Sachz Inc. purchase, and don't miss our "Baby Sweatshop" line of products due out before Christmas...

... The customer is always #1

Thursday, November 3

Can't sleep.... Sup?

    I figured that there was no more appropriate picture for this post than a frightened little asian girl clinging to her father's leg... I realize that I'm posting this on November 3rd, but Halloween kinda came and went with no real life changing experiences... It's not like when we were younger and would have competitions to see how much more candy we could get than that asshole Criag Thompson.. Fuck that guy...

    However, we can't all be as cool as these kids that got cocaine in their pumpkin pails... I know exactly what that guy was thinking though... "We're in fuckin' UTAH!!.. This'll help..." I drove through Utah once... That's about all there is to do there... These poor bastards got shot at by some old fuck that thought their costumes were real... And to finish off this happy holiday season, there's nothing quite like scaring the shit out of people to make news headlines: Turkey Virus...

... need sleepy

Sunday, October 30

Quite Possibly, the Best Day... Ever!

    I have been a fan of Chris Pirillo since the first time that I saw Call for Help on Tech Tv many years ago... I used to watch it everyday to see if I could answer more questions than him in the Lightning round, plus Cat Schwartz was a pretty kick ass sidekick... Apparently I missed the day that he was "removed" from the show, so I wasn't able to understand why he was no longer the host... The last thing I remember is the Call for Help-a-thon with his hysterical laughter-fest :D ... Leo LaPorte is a very intelligent and personal host that, no doubt, has much experience in the field of computers - but he has NOTHING on Chris' skills... Thank god I can still get my addiction settled by visiting one of many of his ventures - Chris's blog, Lockergnome, Gnomedex, his monthy CPU article, and misc. stuff...

    I was reading about him on his apparently misinformed Wikipedia article about the 'Pirillo Effect', and wanted to see if it was at all possible to get my all-time hero to stop by and talk to this meager peasant... Well... here it goes... Chris Pirillo.... Chris Pirillo.... .... .... Chris Pirillo.... whew!.. had a Beetlejuice / Candyman flashback for a second there... Well, perhaps someday I'll be able to pull away from both of my jobs and pay homage to my unreachable mecca - Gnomedex...

    In other business, see if you can beat my time of 1:49 in this game, and check out Famous for the real names of your favorite actor / musician... Somehow 'Curtis Jackson' doesn't carry as much street cred...

... until later,

Aas;lkfj Xbox Game.... Ever

    Well, I've been deathly ill for the past couple days... Putting a gun in my mouth seemed highly plausable for more than a few hours yesterday... Oh right, there was this contest on BET today (I was flipping through the channels and it happened to catch my eye - shut the fuck up) where they were looking for the "next face" for a host position on the channel... They were to read off a teleprompter and add some "jigginess", or whatever you people call it, to the commentary so their personality would shine through... Well it looked like a fuckin outtake reel on some Fox show... None of the people that tried out had a 3rd grade education under their belt, so they couldn't read the words presented to them... Funniest shit EVER... Wish I had that recorded on TiVo... I'll check ebaum's world for the clip later... Anyhow, I had a chance to play a new game for the boxage...

What the Shit: Quoted from - "MLB 2K5 World Series Edition lets you live the thrill of winning the World Series. Take on the best teams in the country as you live out baseball history -- or rewrite it! Great commentary featuring Jon Miller and Joe Morgan Includes custom MLB DVD -- 45 minutes showing the real-life World Series situations, compiling the most pivotal World Series moments."


Now that I got that off my chest - where do I start?.. Joe Morgon (the best player in the game - I WONDER WHY) is never correct when he commentates... The fielders are picked right from the short bus... The controls are CRAP (there are some shitty controls in baseball games, but this one is FUCKED)... There are WAY too many errors... The skybox is a fuckin waste of space and yields almost no benefits... The cheats you "earn" from the skybox NEVER work correctly... They must have got the guy that did the camera from the Resident Evil games to do work on this game... The list could go on forever, but I'll stop here... Fuck ajsdljkf asl flk; JFUck! This game sucks shit!.. STAY AWAY - unless, of course, you like the feeling of getting in the nuts...

Sachz Inc. gives it 1 jackass out of 5

    ...I'll leave with a few thoughts..

○ Why don't they include the videos on the Beavis & Butthead DVDs?..
○ Why do people argue when they don't know shit?..
○ How come its always the dropouts that become billionaires?..
○ Why does that douchebag on CSI make $250,000 an episode, but real crime scene detectives make only $15 an hour?..
○ Sports stars don't have shriveled testicles from using steroids - they have HUGE balls for going on strike for more money...

... Come on man... Funk Dat!

Wednesday, October 26

Elbaf the Great

    I fuckin hate Role Playing Games with every fiber of my being... This is mostly due to not being patient enough to spend 49879342 hours in front of a screen for the sole purpose of determining what some virtual retard does... New RPGs have some shit like 3000 hours of gameplay, and when you add online play - that number becomes more than infinate... These fuckin people amaze me though... How can you actually be interested long enough to give your character a job?.. a wife and kids?.. or even his house in a community full of other losers?.. If you're under 18, I get it (your options are pretty much limited)... Otherwise - HOLY FUCK MAN... GO DO SOMETHING!.. With that said, I became a temporary nerd for 13 hours... 13 hours is how long it took me to beat "Fable"...

Funky Buttlover: In Fable you take control over this kid whose family gets raped & beaten and left for dead... It is your life's destiny to get the son of a bitch back who did it... In the course of your journey, you come across many positive and negative life decisions... What you choose changes your appearance, your strengths and weaknesses, and the amount of possibilities that are available to you...

Did I like it?: Fuck yes!.. This game fuckin rocks!.. After I made a few 'good' decisions, the fuckin town loved me.. All the women practically wet themselves when I entered their town... Battle after battle, my character grew more 'holy', and was obvious after the later presence of a halo over my head... But after all was said and done, I whooped some monkey fuckin ass towards the end of the game... Too bad the damn thing is so short... I really expected a longer experience from a headliner RPG... I'd recommend it to anyone that isn't blind or dead (& has at least 13 hours to throw away and no girlfriend / wife to piss off with this addictive distraction)... Overall, Sachz Inc. gives it:

4.8 Nivrgilaid Swords (Lvl. 3) out of 5

Sunday, October 23

I Just Wanna Say 'What the Fuck?!?'

    It's a sad time when you realize that your childhood is no more... At times I catch myself thinking about the years past and how great Christmas time was for such an innocent young man... I remember hardly getting a winks sleep the night before Dec 25th, with thoughts of Santa Claus dropping off presents near the chimney... My heart nearly jumping out of my chest knowing that the 2 week Christmas break is right around the corner... And the start of all the Winter events - the weather... Having grown up in southern California, I never got to experience snow or even sub-60 degree weather, but the cold air always made me feel better...

    Now since all the corniness is out of the way, I'd like to say FUCK THIS PLACE... FUCK THIS PLACE IN THE ASSHOLE... You realize that it's fuckin October 23rd, and that it was 91 degrees out here yesterday?!? FUCK... This is the time when all the old people flap their flabby arms and fly into town to enjoy the summer-like weather as a trade off from their second or even third home's weather... Kinda trailin off here... I'll sum up where I was going to head:

● Fuck old people
● Fuck women drivers
● Pizza Hut can suck my ass
● White Sox are cheaters
● Stop complaining about Bush already.. Christ!
● White people aren't black - SO STOP IT!
● There is no God - do something productive for a change
● Adult Swim is getting OLD... I can't take any more episodes of Family Guy! ENOUGH ALREADY!

... Funny Ricer Shit... Guess that's it, I'm gonna go play some shitty game on Xbox or watch another episode of Family Guy on Adult Swim... Peace Nigga!

- Harry

New Xbizzle G4m3493!!

    As you may have noticed, I added a new search bar into the top of this page... You may use this to do a quick search of the most often used searches normal people use... However, I can't seem to find out how to make the buttons stay pressed once they're used... If anyone has a clue, please let me know... anyhow, here's a fuckin review:

The 'What the Fuck': Midway Arcade Treasures 3 is the newest game on Xobx that attempts to cash in on the retro-minded culture that currently surrounds us... Likewise though, it's better than the flipside "bling bling" alternative... What the fuck was I saying?.. oh - Midway Arcade Treasures has shit on it like Hydro Thunder, Super Off-Road, Rush 2049, Rush: The Rock, and Race Drivin'... Come to think of it, they're all fuckin racing games... Wait.. That can't be right...

Worth $50?: ...No... Not really... Not unless you have too much money... Do yourself a favor and download MAME... If you wanna re-live the days of yore, MAME will satisfy the retro itch on your scrote... Also, if you wanna feel really depressed, don't forget to pick up the Legend of Zelda Dvds... I have to piss... Sachz Out!

... oh, and if you dind't notice - Google's stocks are at $340 a share now... if I wasn't poor, I would have bought into them 6 years ago :(

Friday, October 21

I'll Fuckin Kill You!

    Interesting Read: linky linky

    I think that's why I have a blog... To manifest these thoughts in my head into semi-coherent text, keeping me from demonstrating them in some violently physical way... Ah, the beauty of the rant... Where to begin?..

    What the fuck is wrong with people?.. You know if we had basic population control enforced, the world would be a better place... Stay with me on this and think past the "christian" mentality that has been forced upon our society... If we were to take all the people in the world, and cut that number in half; where would we be?.. World hunger?.. All but gone... Unemployment?.. Non-existent... Traffic? Poverty? Pollution? Depleted ozone concerns?... Nope... It is in our nature to be the bearers of children, nurturing them in our own images, molding them as little mirror images of "us" (as the linked sight slightly touches on)... What gives us the right to have children to begin with?... The fact that we're human beings? Financial Status? Prominent place in society?.. None of the above... Why is the only thing not regulated - childbirth?... We govern alcohol, tobacco, firearms, drugs, driving, voting, noise, immigration, etc... With such a growth in population all over the world, when is it finally going to be enough that we realize that the planet just can't sufficiently hold any more fuckin people?...

    Same goes with fuels... Not one fuckin day goes by when we don't complain about the rising costs at the gas pumps, yet 'we' still drive vehicles that get 10 miles to the gallon... There's going to be a point where the amount of people, the amount of fuel being burned, and the cost of pumping a commodity that's diminishing in availablity becomes overwhelming... When that day comes, I will not only laugh at these douchebags that drive inefficient cars, but I will also laugh at the industries that didn't try hard enough to deploy a viable alternative to reach the mass public...

    What the fuck is with all these god damn American flags and 'support our troops' stickers everywhere?.. To drive around without one displayed on the back of your car in the city I live in is almost as bad as driving with a severed head on your car antenna... I've seen those stickers for purchase and nowhere on there does it state that any of the proceeds go to help anyone... Therefore, the only reason to have one is to feel better about yourself... I say 'Fuck You Jobu'... And before you get all high and mighty on me and start complaining about how I'm anti-American, I served in this nation's military for 4 years and plan on going back when I finish my degree in Electronics Engineering... I've been all around the world defending your right to complain about every little thing that bothers you... I for one love that right, and will exercise it until the day I die... Oh, and if you're a fuckin democrat - Fuck You... The people have too many rights as it stands... Start taking them away and they'll realize how great a country this is...


Thursday, October 20

N3w FuXb0x 5h1t!

    Well, The amount of bullshit that Microsoft releases for the Xbox system is amazing... However, the amount of GOOD games they come out with is laughable... I have purchased more than my fair share of really bad and really really bad games for the Xbox, however, recently I picked up a couple new games... After a brisk couple hours playing each, I decided it necessary for everyone to know whether or not it's worth buying the hype... I'll start with L.A. Rush...

The Basics: L.A. Rush is the next in the generation of the "Rush" series, with only San Francisco Rush, Rush: The Rock, and Rush: 2049 before it... This game features a completely open map based on the streets of Los Angeles, where you get to pick which path you will take... The cars are completely Pimpable by pseudo-popular car-mod show hosted by spelling bee champ Xzibit and West Coast Customs... The game has the potential to be the greatest racing game yet, even surpassing fan favorite Gran Turismo...

    The Facts: It Sucks!.. It sucks so bad, that it I'd rather watch a Vin Diesel movie instead of being pelted by the onslaught of garbage the game contstantly shoots at you... If it wasn't for the thousands of advertisements, boring ass story line, down syndrome voice acting and redundant "missions"; the game might have had a chance to give me a smile like the Rush games of old... What's with the whole in-game pimping anyways?.. The upgrades they give you are at best completely useless... However, I will have to say thank christ they don't force you to listen to rap the whole time...

1.5 Dawgs out of 5

Story: Guy goes to island... Guy gets shot at... Guy hides... Guy beats ass... This game shares the same title as the PC version with "Instincts" as the only real difference... Although, Given the Xbox hardware and the revolutionary look of this breakthrough game, the graphics had to be dumbed down a bit...

    What it is yo: Not too bad actually... The animal instincts bullshit is fun for the first 5 minutes... Punching an enemy and having him fly against a fence is kinda cool the first couple times, but then you realize that getting shot 3,000 times trying to do so isn't worth it... The graphics aren't too much different from the PC; but with that said, I'm not a little bitch that has to own the latest and greatest hardware for my computer trying to get every last frame per second out of it as possible with my mommy's checkbook... The AI also is way too aware of your presence no matter what the situation is, leaving any attempt at being stealth-like null and void...

3 Bananas out of 3.8

The Shizzle: YET another WW2 shooter where you take control of a sniper doing sniper things... Sneaking around, watching your target's patterns, hiding under debris, searching the rooftops for other snipers, moving slow and pissing yourself to remain relaxed... Ahh, the good life... The question is though, do gamers need ANOTHER fucking World War 2 based shooting game?

    The Answer: Not a fucking chance... If i wasn't so sick of all the other WW2 First Person Shooters out there, I may have given this one more of a fair chance... But if a new game in the genre doesn't set fire to my testicle hairs, I'm not gonna fuckin notice it... This game had some serious potential too... Taking part in sniper tactics is something left up to 14 year olds camping on the rooftops of Counterstrike... This was the game that would change all that, bringing stealth and strategy to normal people not still living with their parents... It's really unfortunate that this game will join the anonymous ranks of all the others in the genre...

68.96 bullets out of 98.46

    When will they put a decent game out that is actually worth it's $45+ pricetag? (with the exception of Halo 1 of course - shut the fuck up already fan boys)... More next week, once I get the smell of garbage out of my Xobx...

Wednesday, October 19

New Bw3 in California!!

    The best bar / grill / bar / bar / bar was FINALLY opened up in the beautifully full state of California recently... The grand opening of Buffalo Wild Wings in Rancho Cucamonga signified the beginning of a new era... Fuck man... All I have to say is: It's about god damn time...

... Buffalo Wild Wings

Tuesday, October 18

The Shining

    I just saw the most AWESOME internet movie clip... usually bullshit online movies are fuckin stupid and boring, but this one has to be #1 on my list...


#2 has to go to G.I.Joe PSA series...

...Absolut Impotence
(The Shining link courtesy of

Road Wet.... Go Around and Sit in Traffic!

    Did I ever mention that the cock in the ass city I reside in is complete bullshit, ran by over eager, knocking on death's door, elitist, keeping up with the jones', can't drive worth a shit, too much free time on their hands, rich fucks?.. The ONE fucking day that it rains, they freak... Roads are shut down, the detour signs come out, news crews everywhere reporting on the traumatic combination of water and dirt... When there is anything other than a 150 degree sunny day, they freak... The news people live for days like this because there is no other news to report on... Nobody cares that yet ANOTHER old person fell over dead in his $3.5 million dollar mansion after playing 18 holes of golf, they want to see the story as it breaks.... WATER FROM THE SKY '05...

...Downpour in the Desert!!

Monday, October 17

Gamecube is for rich spoiled fucks!

    Battalion Wars for Gamecube has made an incredible impact on today's gaming... with similar games such as the Command and Conquer series and PacMan, people will do just about anything to play it... don't forget to use your "" Visa discount of $30!...

EDIT: Battalion Wars is no longer $1.1mil :(

Battalion Wars for GC @

Saturday, October 15


    Funny thing about copyrights and "internet downloads" is that they keep you from having fun... remember the days of old when you played multiplayer Mario with your buddies?... sat back and had a round or two in Mike Tyson's Punch Out!?.. today's greedy law abiding bullshit ass companies keep us from reliving our childhood... I have found out though, a way that we can play these games on our computers against each other online... the site Kaillera developed a way for this to happen... under their download page you can get a Mame version with 'Netplay' enabled, along with a Super Nintendo, Nes, Amiga, and an Intellivision Netplay emulator... check out my server at if you wanna play some vintage gameage!!

Multiplayer Mame

Inuyasha! Kagome! Inuyasha! Kagome!

    Beer Good...

Friday, October 14

Dream Computer Time Again!

    It's that time again... there has been enough new hardware releases that it is almost necessary to upgrade all your shit to maintain your #1 slot in your nerd fest to achieve the most frames per second... i know that you're not happy until you achieve 456346 fps in Doom 3's expansion, or hit a 3dMark05 score of 89476983700000000000 (which is only 1 mark above the current leader from North Korea - fuck him)... anyhow, this is the dream computer of 14Oct05... here for specs

Fuckula Can SUCK MY WHITE ASS!!!!1111!!!

    So there i was, completely minding my own business - cookin up some meth like any other usual friday afternoon... when all of a fuckin sudden BAM FUCK!.. this god damn FUCKIN ADDICTIVE game pooped up on my fuckin screen!.. click here if you want the rest of your free time to disappear like a southerner during a hurricane... FUCK THAT GAME!! oh, if you get the #1 slot, let me know so i can kick the EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!...

Duckula Game

The SachZorz!

    Finally broke down and purchased this blog has changed to however, is used for my purposes only and you can't access it without a username and password... i use it so i can access my files from anywhere on the internet from this computer... i can also control the xobx, server, laptop, ftp, mail, blah, blah, blah... it's the SHIT... fuck... my cock is hard with excitement!..

Monday, August 1

Nerd blows allowance on intergalactic rod

    The original lightsaber used by Luke Skywalker sold for $200,000 in Hollywood on Saturday... The 'sword' is nothing more than a short chrome tube with a rubber hilt, allowing the purchaser a profit of -$199.999.85... The 35-year old, self proclaimed "Defender of the Galaxy" stated that he had to take out the trash 85,000 times, clean the pool 23,700 times, keep his room clean for a year, and had to give his mom a kiss to be able to earn enough money to get the original movie prop... Now there's no stopping him on his way to getting laid...

More Info...

Wednesday, July 13


    So anyhow, my neighbors are a bunch of stupid assholes... Their wireless 802.11g keeps popping up in my scans for my own home network... Sooooooooooooooooo, long story short, after all the stupid bullshit the neighbors do - i decided to fuck with them... I used my notebook and logged into their router and changed their password... It's not exactly like it was encrypted... In fact, the title of their network is a hex encryption code, which shows that they tried to make it secure; but are either too inbred or too 'south of the border' to understand what a kumpooter is... Now, given that I am the only person with access to their home network, I think I'll pop up at random times and fuck with them... They'll get a virus scan, spyware scan, reformat, call tech support, whatever... That won't fix a god damn thing... I do not like these people, and I will make their computer related life a living hell... Fuck them... Fuck them in the dirty assholes...

My neighbor's change password screen on their router :P

Thursday, July 7

The Ultimate Computer

    I've built the ultimate computer... AMD X2 4800, nVidia 7800, sata150 400 gig, xms corsair 4GB, blah blah... however, the ultimate computer comes at a pseudo-ultimate price of $3,500... AND that's assuming you have a mouse, keyboard, optical drive, monitor, speakers, router, operating system, etc... you can see the wishlist (sans AMD X2 4800+) here... however, if you want to see my personal excel program that incorporates multiple vendors check it out here...

Niggaz Back N Da Hizzy Yo!

    Well, sadly we're back from our vacation and its back to work we go... thank god for beer though I tell you, or else the utter shock of reality would be too overwhelming for my ass to handle... All in all it was a good trip... We lost a good $200 in those fucking rip off god damn shit fdfjsal;kjsaf machines they have, but we got them back... oh yeah... got them back good... we paid $9 a beer... TAKE THAT VEGAS!! BOO YAH!

See the photo album