Sunday, October 30

Quite Possibly, the Best Day... Ever!

    I have been a fan of Chris Pirillo since the first time that I saw Call for Help on Tech Tv many years ago... I used to watch it everyday to see if I could answer more questions than him in the Lightning round, plus Cat Schwartz was a pretty kick ass sidekick... Apparently I missed the day that he was "removed" from the show, so I wasn't able to understand why he was no longer the host... The last thing I remember is the Call for Help-a-thon with his hysterical laughter-fest :D ... Leo LaPorte is a very intelligent and personal host that, no doubt, has much experience in the field of computers - but he has NOTHING on Chris' skills... Thank god I can still get my addiction settled by visiting one of many of his ventures - Chris's blog, Lockergnome, Gnomedex, his monthy CPU article, and misc. stuff...

    I was reading about him on his apparently misinformed Wikipedia article about the 'Pirillo Effect', and wanted to see if it was at all possible to get my all-time hero to stop by and talk to this meager peasant... Well... here it goes... Chris Pirillo.... Chris Pirillo.... .... .... Chris Pirillo.... whew!.. had a Beetlejuice / Candyman flashback for a second there... Well, perhaps someday I'll be able to pull away from both of my jobs and pay homage to my unreachable mecca - Gnomedex...

    In other business, see if you can beat my time of 1:49 in this game, and check out Famous Folk.com for the real names of your favorite actor / musician... Somehow 'Curtis Jackson' doesn't carry as much street cred...

... until later,
Harry

Aas;lkfj Xbox Game.... Ever

    Well, I've been deathly ill for the past couple days... Putting a gun in my mouth seemed highly plausable for more than a few hours yesterday... Oh right, there was this contest on BET today (I was flipping through the channels and it happened to catch my eye - shut the fuck up) where they were looking for the "next face" for a host position on the channel... They were to read off a teleprompter and add some "jigginess", or whatever you people call it, to the commentary so their personality would shine through... Well it looked like a fuckin outtake reel on some Fox show... None of the people that tried out had a 3rd grade education under their belt, so they couldn't read the words presented to them... Funniest shit EVER... Wish I had that recorded on TiVo... I'll check ebaum's world for the clip later... Anyhow, I had a chance to play a new game for the boxage...

What the Shit: Quoted from Amazon.com - "MLB 2K5 World Series Edition lets you live the thrill of winning the World Series. Take on the best teams in the country as you live out baseball history -- or rewrite it! Great commentary featuring Jon Miller and Joe Morgan Includes custom MLB DVD -- 45 minutes showing the real-life World Series situations, compiling the most pivotal World Series moments."

Did I Like It? FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUDKFJKLSJF FUCK FUCK FUKD F JOE MORGON FUCK FUCK FUKS KDFJ ANSI ANIMATION FJKLJD ERRORS FUKC JALF SD;JL COCK ASS JDKLFJ LK JDF FIELDINGKLJ S KL JDF;KJCONTROLS KLS DF FLKS JJKLSDJF AHHHHHHHHH...

Now that I got that off my chest - where do I start?.. Joe Morgon (the best player in the game - I WONDER WHY) is never correct when he commentates... The fielders are picked right from the short bus... The controls are CRAP (there are some shitty controls in baseball games, but this one is FUCKED)... There are WAY too many errors... The skybox is a fuckin waste of space and yields almost no benefits... The cheats you "earn" from the skybox NEVER work correctly... They must have got the guy that did the camera from the Resident Evil games to do work on this game... The list could go on forever, but I'll stop here... Fuck ajsdljkf asl flk; JFUck! This game sucks shit!.. STAY AWAY - unless, of course, you like the feeling of getting in the nuts...

Sachz Inc. gives it 1 jackass out of 5






    ...I'll leave with a few thoughts..

○ Why don't they include the videos on the Beavis & Butthead DVDs?..
○ Why do people argue when they don't know shit?..
○ How come its always the dropouts that become billionaires?..
○ Why does that douchebag on CSI make $250,000 an episode, but real crime scene detectives make only $15 an hour?..
○ Sports stars don't have shriveled testicles from using steroids - they have HUGE balls for going on strike for more money...

... Come on man... Funk Dat!


Wednesday, October 26

Elbaf the Great

    I fuckin hate Role Playing Games with every fiber of my being... This is mostly due to not being patient enough to spend 49879342 hours in front of a screen for the sole purpose of determining what some virtual retard does... New RPGs have some shit like 3000 hours of gameplay, and when you add online play - that number becomes more than infinate... These fuckin people amaze me though... How can you actually be interested long enough to give your character a job?.. a wife and kids?.. or even his house in a community full of other losers?.. If you're under 18, I get it (your options are pretty much limited)... Otherwise - HOLY FUCK MAN... GO DO SOMETHING!.. With that said, I became a temporary nerd for 13 hours... 13 hours is how long it took me to beat "Fable"...

Funky Buttlover: In Fable you take control over this kid whose family gets raped & beaten and left for dead... It is your life's destiny to get the son of a bitch back who did it... In the course of your journey, you come across many positive and negative life decisions... What you choose changes your appearance, your strengths and weaknesses, and the amount of possibilities that are available to you...

Did I like it?: Fuck yes!.. This game fuckin rocks!.. After I made a few 'good' decisions, the fuckin town loved me.. All the women practically wet themselves when I entered their town... Battle after battle, my character grew more 'holy', and was obvious after the later presence of a halo over my head... But after all was said and done, I whooped some monkey fuckin ass towards the end of the game... Too bad the damn thing is so short... I really expected a longer experience from a headliner RPG... I'd recommend it to anyone that isn't blind or dead (& has at least 13 hours to throw away and no girlfriend / wife to piss off with this addictive distraction)... Overall, Sachz Inc. gives it:

4.8 Nivrgilaid Swords (Lvl. 3) out of 5


Sunday, October 23

I Just Wanna Say 'What the Fuck?!?'

    It's a sad time when you realize that your childhood is no more... At times I catch myself thinking about the years past and how great Christmas time was for such an innocent young man... I remember hardly getting a winks sleep the night before Dec 25th, with thoughts of Santa Claus dropping off presents near the chimney... My heart nearly jumping out of my chest knowing that the 2 week Christmas break is right around the corner... And the start of all the Winter events - the weather... Having grown up in southern California, I never got to experience snow or even sub-60 degree weather, but the cold air always made me feel better...

    Now since all the corniness is out of the way, I'd like to say FUCK THIS PLACE... FUCK THIS PLACE IN THE ASSHOLE... You realize that it's fuckin October 23rd, and that it was 91 degrees out here yesterday?!? FUCK... This is the time when all the old people flap their flabby arms and fly into town to enjoy the summer-like weather as a trade off from their second or even third home's weather... Kinda trailin off here... I'll sum up where I was going to head:

● Fuck old people
● Fuck women drivers
● Pizza Hut can suck my ass
● White Sox are cheaters
● Stop complaining about Bush already.. Christ!
● White people aren't black - SO STOP IT!
● There is no God - do something productive for a change
● Adult Swim is getting OLD... I can't take any more episodes of Family Guy! ENOUGH ALREADY!

... Funny Ricer Shit... Guess that's it, I'm gonna go play some shitty game on Xbox or watch another episode of Family Guy on Adult Swim... Peace Nigga!

- Harry



New Xbizzle G4m3493!!

    As you may have noticed, I added a new search bar into the top of this page... You may use this to do a quick search of the most often used searches normal people use... However, I can't seem to find out how to make the buttons stay pressed once they're used... If anyone has a clue, please let me know... anyhow, here's a fuckin review:

The 'What the Fuck': Midway Arcade Treasures 3 is the newest game on Xobx that attempts to cash in on the retro-minded culture that currently surrounds us... Likewise though, it's better than the flipside "bling bling" alternative... What the fuck was I saying?.. oh - Midway Arcade Treasures has shit on it like Hydro Thunder, Super Off-Road, Rush 2049, Rush: The Rock, and Race Drivin'... Come to think of it, they're all fuckin racing games... Wait.. That can't be right...

Worth $50?: ...No... Not really... Not unless you have too much money... Do yourself a favor and download MAME... If you wanna re-live the days of yore, MAME will satisfy the retro itch on your scrote... Also, if you wanna feel really depressed, don't forget to pick up the Legend of Zelda Dvds... I have to piss... Sachz Out!

... oh, and if you dind't notice - Google's stocks are at $340 a share now... if I wasn't poor, I would have bought into them 6 years ago :(

Friday, October 21

I'll Fuckin Kill You!

    Interesting Read: linky linky

    I think that's why I have a blog... To manifest these thoughts in my head into semi-coherent text, keeping me from demonstrating them in some violently physical way... Ah, the beauty of the rant... Where to begin?..

    What the fuck is wrong with people?.. You know if we had basic population control enforced, the world would be a better place... Stay with me on this and think past the "christian" mentality that has been forced upon our society... If we were to take all the people in the world, and cut that number in half; where would we be?.. World hunger?.. All but gone... Unemployment?.. Non-existent... Traffic? Poverty? Pollution? Depleted ozone concerns?... Nope... It is in our nature to be the bearers of children, nurturing them in our own images, molding them as little mirror images of "us" (as the linked sight slightly touches on)... What gives us the right to have children to begin with?... The fact that we're human beings? Financial Status? Prominent place in society?.. None of the above... Why is the only thing not regulated - childbirth?... We govern alcohol, tobacco, firearms, drugs, driving, voting, noise, immigration, etc... With such a growth in population all over the world, when is it finally going to be enough that we realize that the planet just can't sufficiently hold any more fuckin people?...

    Same goes with fuels... Not one fuckin day goes by when we don't complain about the rising costs at the gas pumps, yet 'we' still drive vehicles that get 10 miles to the gallon... There's going to be a point where the amount of people, the amount of fuel being burned, and the cost of pumping a commodity that's diminishing in availablity becomes overwhelming... When that day comes, I will not only laugh at these douchebags that drive inefficient cars, but I will also laugh at the industries that didn't try hard enough to deploy a viable alternative to reach the mass public...

    What the fuck is with all these god damn American flags and 'support our troops' stickers everywhere?.. To drive around without one displayed on the back of your car in the city I live in is almost as bad as driving with a severed head on your car antenna... I've seen those stickers for purchase and nowhere on there does it state that any of the proceeds go to help anyone... Therefore, the only reason to have one is to feel better about yourself... I say 'Fuck You Jobu'... And before you get all high and mighty on me and start complaining about how I'm anti-American, I served in this nation's military for 4 years and plan on going back when I finish my degree in Electronics Engineering... I've been all around the world defending your right to complain about every little thing that bothers you... I for one love that right, and will exercise it until the day I die... Oh, and if you're a fuckin democrat - Fuck You... The people have too many rights as it stands... Start taking them away and they'll realize how great a country this is...



-Harry

Thursday, October 20

N3w FuXb0x 5h1t!

    Well, The amount of bullshit that Microsoft releases for the Xbox system is amazing... However, the amount of GOOD games they come out with is laughable... I have purchased more than my fair share of really bad and really really bad games for the Xbox, however, recently I picked up a couple new games... After a brisk couple hours playing each, I decided it necessary for everyone to know whether or not it's worth buying the hype... I'll start with L.A. Rush...




The Basics: L.A. Rush is the next in the generation of the "Rush" series, with only San Francisco Rush, Rush: The Rock, and Rush: 2049 before it... This game features a completely open map based on the streets of Los Angeles, where you get to pick which path you will take... The cars are completely Pimpable by pseudo-popular car-mod show hosted by spelling bee champ Xzibit and West Coast Customs... The game has the potential to be the greatest racing game yet, even surpassing fan favorite Gran Turismo...

    The Facts: It Sucks!.. It sucks so bad, that it I'd rather watch a Vin Diesel movie instead of being pelted by the onslaught of garbage the game contstantly shoots at you... If it wasn't for the thousands of advertisements, boring ass story line, down syndrome voice acting and redundant "missions"; the game might have had a chance to give me a smile like the Rush games of old... What's with the whole in-game pimping anyways?.. The upgrades they give you are at best completely useless... However, I will have to say thank christ they don't force you to listen to rap the whole time...



1.5 Dawgs out of 5









Story: Guy goes to island... Guy gets shot at... Guy hides... Guy beats ass... This game shares the same title as the PC version with "Instincts" as the only real difference... Although, Given the Xbox hardware and the revolutionary look of this breakthrough game, the graphics had to be dumbed down a bit...

    What it is yo: Not too bad actually... The animal instincts bullshit is fun for the first 5 minutes... Punching an enemy and having him fly against a fence is kinda cool the first couple times, but then you realize that getting shot 3,000 times trying to do so isn't worth it... The graphics aren't too much different from the PC; but with that said, I'm not a little bitch that has to own the latest and greatest hardware for my computer trying to get every last frame per second out of it as possible with my mommy's checkbook... The AI also is way too aware of your presence no matter what the situation is, leaving any attempt at being stealth-like null and void...

3 Bananas out of 3.8









The Shizzle: YET another WW2 shooter where you take control of a sniper doing sniper things... Sneaking around, watching your target's patterns, hiding under debris, searching the rooftops for other snipers, moving slow and pissing yourself to remain relaxed... Ahh, the good life... The question is though, do gamers need ANOTHER fucking World War 2 based shooting game?

    The Answer: Not a fucking chance... If i wasn't so sick of all the other WW2 First Person Shooters out there, I may have given this one more of a fair chance... But if a new game in the genre doesn't set fire to my testicle hairs, I'm not gonna fuckin notice it... This game had some serious potential too... Taking part in sniper tactics is something left up to 14 year olds camping on the rooftops of Counterstrike... This was the game that would change all that, bringing stealth and strategy to normal people not still living with their parents... It's really unfortunate that this game will join the anonymous ranks of all the others in the genre...


68.96 bullets out of 98.46






    When will they put a decent game out that is actually worth it's $45+ pricetag? (with the exception of Halo 1 of course - shut the fuck up already fan boys)... More next week, once I get the smell of garbage out of my Xobx...


Wednesday, October 19

New Bw3 in California!!

    The best bar / grill / bar / bar / bar was FINALLY opened up in the beautifully full state of California recently... The grand opening of Buffalo Wild Wings in Rancho Cucamonga signified the beginning of a new era... Fuck man... All I have to say is: It's about god damn time...







... Buffalo Wild Wings



Tuesday, October 18

The Shining

    I just saw the most AWESOME internet movie clip... usually bullshit online movies are fuckin stupid and boring, but this one has to be #1 on my list...

"THE SHINING: REDUX"

#2 has to go to G.I.Joe PSA series...



...Absolut Impotence
(The Shining link courtesy of phronk.com)

Road Wet.... Go Around and Sit in Traffic!

    Did I ever mention that the cock in the ass city I reside in is complete bullshit, ran by over eager, knocking on death's door, elitist, keeping up with the jones', can't drive worth a shit, too much free time on their hands, rich fucks?.. The ONE fucking day that it rains, they freak... Roads are shut down, the detour signs come out, news crews everywhere reporting on the traumatic combination of water and dirt... When there is anything other than a 150 degree sunny day, they freak... The news people live for days like this because there is no other news to report on... Nobody cares that yet ANOTHER old person fell over dead in his $3.5 million dollar mansion after playing 18 holes of golf, they want to see the story as it breaks.... WATER FROM THE SKY '05...


...Downpour in the Desert!!


Monday, October 17

Gamecube is for rich spoiled fucks!

    Battalion Wars for Gamecube has made an incredible impact on today's gaming... with similar games such as the Command and Conquer series and PacMan, people will do just about anything to play it... don't forget to use your "Buy.com" Visa discount of $30!...

EDIT: Battalion Wars is no longer $1.1mil :(



Battalion Wars for GC @ Buy.com


Saturday, October 15

Mameage!@#(*%&

    Funny thing about copyrights and "internet downloads" is that they keep you from having fun... remember the days of old when you played multiplayer Mario with your buddies?... sat back and had a round or two in Mike Tyson's Punch Out!?.. today's greedy law abiding bullshit ass companies keep us from reliving our childhood... I have found out though, a way that we can play these games on our computers against each other online... the site Kaillera developed a way for this to happen... under their download page you can get a Mame version with 'Netplay' enabled, along with a Super Nintendo, Nes, Amiga, and an Intellivision Netplay emulator... check out my server at mame.sachz.com if you wanna play some vintage gameage!!

Multiplayer Mame



Inuyasha! Kagome! Inuyasha! Kagome!

    Beer Good...







Friday, October 14

Dream Computer Time Again!

    It's that time again... there has been enough new hardware releases that it is almost necessary to upgrade all your shit to maintain your #1 slot in your nerd fest to achieve the most frames per second... i know that you're not happy until you achieve 456346 fps in Doom 3's expansion, or hit a 3dMark05 score of 89476983700000000000 (which is only 1 mark above the current leader from North Korea - fuck him)... anyhow, this is the dream computer of 14Oct05...


...click here for specs


Fuckula Can SUCK MY WHITE ASS!!!!1111!!!

    So there i was, completely minding my own business - cookin up some meth like any other usual friday afternoon... when all of a fuckin sudden BAM FUCK!.. this god damn FUCKIN ADDICTIVE game pooped up on my fuckin screen!.. click here if you want the rest of your free time to disappear like a southerner during a hurricane... FUCK THAT GAME!! oh, if you get the #1 slot, let me know so i can kick the EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!...



Duckula Game

The SachZorz!

    Finally broke down and purchased sachz.com... this blog has changed to blog.sachz.com... however, sachz.com is used for my purposes only and you can't access it without a username and password... i use it so i can access my files from anywhere on the internet from this computer... i can also control the xobx, server, laptop, ftp, mail, blah, blah, blah... it's the SHIT... fuck... my cock is hard with excitement!..