Monday, November 28

012390N 71241LZ012!!

    Looking around the internet today, found alot of kick ass shit... So much to say, where should I start?..

    If you're a big of fan as I am with older games, or just online and looking for something other than porn, make sure that you check out 1980 Games... They have a list of games that you can play online that will bring a much deserved tear to your eye, such as: Frogger, 1942, Galaxian, Excitebike, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!, and the original Sonic the Hedgehog... People say that the sound on these games are a little bit off, but hell - free is free... In comparison Every Video also has an extensive list of games ranging from 3-D World Runner to Zoop...

    Gaming on a keyboard can be a little weird for those of us that are used to the old style gaming pads though, so that's when you wanna check out Mame for your nostalgic gaming purposes... The games, or 'roms' as they're known, may be found through the usual peer to peer or internet downloading channels; but you may also try your luck at Mame World to find what you're looking for... I hear good things about them... Now, if you're a fan of older DOS based games, give the Dos Games Archive a click... Now, if you're having a hard time finding that gem in the rough, *cough* *cough* OREGON TRAIL *cough*, check out Classic Gaming or Zophar's Domain for more info... Now I'm sure that there are some legal issues with some of these games, so if you get caught downloading roms that you don't currently own the rights to, you may wanna get some practice in on this 'handy' little item before heading up the river... However, I seriously doubt that the Atari 2600 police "RPG Division" will be banging down your door anytime soon...

    Now, if you don't like using typical computer based gaming controllers, a quick google search gives some useful info on USB to gamepad adapters such as these Super Nes, Genesis, or for the handy do-it-yourself modder - this NES adapter... Which I can proudly say I have done a parallel port version on my NESPC computer (which may be seen at Sachz Vintage Gaming)...

    Here's some more free shit before I go - Free Shick Intuition, 6 months of Playstation Magazine, and 12 months of Computer Gaming World...

Sunday, November 27

Absolut Thanksgiving

    If you come across a spelling / grammar error, ignore it - I be fuckered up off of the liquor... Thanksgiving was great... If I ate any more turkey, I would have exploded and infected the entire country with the supposed 'avian flu'... That thing scares the shit out of me.. A whole 11 people have been infected so far!!.. With the odds of infection at a whopping 11:6,000,000,000 it's a wonder why we're not all dead!! BE WARNED!!!

    There has to be something a binge drinker can complain about... Xbox, the 360 seems to be a whopping piece of garbage... Seems that people are experiencing horrible graphical issues, overheating, and lack of backwards compatibility... The system, however, does a little justice with it's usb device connectivity and it's windows media center integration... Plus you can look really cool with your Xbox 360 hat from the Xbox Gear Store, and there's some hope yet with running linux on your $400 piece of machinery... It may be justifyable afterall...

    Funny shit though, Sony of all freaking people - which has been in the news recently with it's "Rootkit" bullshit, has made more headlines this week with some 'Anti-360' propoganda... If my drunk ass read correctly, it seems that they paid some people to spread malicious rumors of overheating issues that cause the 360 to crash... Way to get your name out of the gutter Sony!..

    Now onto drunken babble: I found a way to cook breakfast on your computer's processor (courtesy of Hack-a-day)... Put that old AMD XP+ processor to good use... A 1.8 Ghz CPU isn't worth a crap now anyhow, unless you like the word processing... And how can anyone miss the new Aeon Flux movie?!?... It doesn't look like they put it together in 5 minutes, gererated the script with some sort of online java program, or half assed the characters with any sort of stereotypical secret agent generic bullshit... Hopefully, my html coding and typing ability doesn't make me seem tooooooo retarded... [H]ouse be on, so I be off... L8!!!

Wednesday, November 23

You Get That Thing I Sent You?

    Well, the concert last night was rad... But of course I forgot my camera again, so no picture fo yoo!..

    It turns out that Sony has finally released more information regarding the Playstation 3's release in mid-2006... With the overwhelming response to the Xbox 360 game console at its $400 price point, Sony will release their system for "under $400" (read: $399.99 9/10 + tax)... Update: Turns out this is bogus information fueled by some misinformed publishers... This is a large difference from the previously stated $650 price tag originally told by Sony execs... Their hardware in their PS3 console system costs well over that with the included $1,000+ next gen high definition / high density Blu-Ray dvd drive... Sony told the press that "...the PS3 will initially be sold at a significant loss in order to drive the Blu-Ray next-generation DVD standard out into the marketplace.".. (Microsoft is stated as losing $126 for each Xbox sold)

    For those unfamiliar with the next-gen dvd war - Blu-Ray (Sony's brainchild) holds 25GB on a single layer whereas HD-DVD (Toshiba's bitch) will hold 15GB... This will more than definately give Sony the edge in the entertainment industry come PS3's release... But it should be noted that no game developer as of yet has maxed out the storage capacity of a standard dvd disc... Good news for Microsoft...

    To further entice the deal, Sony said, ".. [the PS3] will come with a bundle of games, movies, and TV shows, many of which Sony also makes.".. It might just be worth the wait afterall... So to help the normal "I don't know which fuckin system to buy" person, I decided to make this little chart to make it easier to decide between the two systems...

Should You Waste Money on a "Next-Gen" Game Console?

  Xbox 360 Playstation 3
Manufacturer Microsoft Sony
Processor Custom IBM PowerPC CPU @ 3.2GHz Cell Processor @ 3.2 GHz
Graphics Custom ATI Processor RSX "Reality Synthesizer"
Memory 512MB (shared with CPU & GPU) 256MB (down from 512 as speculated)
Storage 20GB Removable 2.5in Removable Hard Drive (size not released)
Optical Medium Dual Layer DVD Blu-Ray DVD
Video Support 480p, 480i, 720p, 1080i 480i, 480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p and Dual Screen support
Backwards Compatibility Not 100% - Click for list of games Full
Controller Support 4 Wireless
(2.4 GHz)
7 Wireless
Other Connectors 3 USB 2.0
2 Memory Slots
Ethernet Port
6 USB 2.0
CF Slot (I, II)
SD Slot
Memory Stick Mem Stick Duo
1 x Optical Audio
Logo Text Arial Bold Spiderman Movie Font
Screen Shots Click Here Console and
Misc. Shit Mod-able? Region Free

Sunday, November 20

Whew... About Time!

    I know this comic isn't funny, but it's just one of those self-congratulatory things that needed to be done to signify the end of a long stupid ass "a;sldkfj" class!.. I have so many of these formulas floating in my head from the recent 48 hour cram session, that I'm pretty much empty when it comes to shit to write... I added a link to VG on the right sidebar under "Bamf Shit"... If you're a huge fan of video game music, this is a great site to get songs that have been composed by clever computer musicians all over the internet... If your cell phone supports custom ringtones, upload some of these songs and show off your nerdy personality... I recommend Super Mario World, F-Zero, MegaMan, Double Dragon, and Mike Tyson's Punch Out!.. I'm gonna go make myself a drink and pass out for the next day or two... Oh, I'm heading to The Eagles concert on Monday night.. maybe I'll remember the camera this time... I'll post again when I wake up from my self-induced coma of Red Bull and Vodka...

    Edit: I am super ultra mega bored with all this damn free time on my hands, so I made a new banner for I added the new one to this page... Drop me a line, and let me know if you likey.. :D

I'm Incredibly Bored

    I drank about a thousand Mountain Dews so I could cram a whole 11 weeks worth of Advanced Calculus homework and Exams into a one night cram fest for tomorrow's final... I'm such a bad ass that I only need a 23% to pull off a C... GOD I'M AWESOME!!. I did me a few tweak projects to help slow my brain down a bit; one of them featured above... My freakin heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest...

    This just drives me insane... Microsoft and major retailers all over the world are claiming shortages of the new Xbox console won't nearly reach the demand... Yet, they give new systems away to people that A). won't make good use of it... B). dont' know what they have... and C). don't care what they have... Oh, if you're a vintage gaming nut like myself, download this .rar file... it's a compilation of many great songs done, as if they were featured on an NES soundtrack... You can get WinRar from or click the link on the right sidebar


    I forgot to bring my camera with me to the show last night, so we ended up picking up a silly disposable one in it's place... After we get the pictures developed / scanned, they'll be posted :)... Well, looks like I'll be awake well into next week, so I'm gonna go regrout the bathroom now...

.... L8-G

Thursday, November 17

3egin 6rand 0pening

    Turns out that all the Mountain Dew, misc. contest winners and major video game review / hardware companies have received their Xbox 360s for initial disassembly... You may check out Anandtech (known for their their in depth hardware reviews, tutorials, and Hot Deals forum) or electronics guru The Soft Life's blog that goes in-depth on the TSOP chip... As any veteran Xbox modder knows, "...the TSOP was used by Microsoft on the original Xbox (revisions 1.0 through 1.5) to store the bootstrap code. ....The modchip effectively replaced/bypassed the on-board TSOP, with a user friendly and writable method of negating Microsoft security code."... With any luck, the ability to mod the 360 won't be far away... With such a large community... such a large community... large community, it should be a faster process than Xbox 1.0...

    Well, I'll be heading out to the Audioslave / Seether / some other band (I forgot) concert tomorrow in Long Beach... The wife wanted to go see it, so I guess that means that I do as well :) ... Don't quite understand the purpose of concerts to begin with... Like movies, they really serve no purpose other than a few hours away from the home in a very crowded, very expensive 'arena'... If I want to hear music by a band, I'll save the $60 used for the concert tickets, and purchase every cd they produced so I can listen to them as many times as I like... However, being married also means that I forgot how to make decisions for myself - i.e. what to wear, what to eat, where to go for tonight's entertainment, political standpoints, and local issues... Good thing too, cuz I'd probably be in jail by now from all the stupid ideas that pop in my head... I'll post pictures manana...

... PEAS!

Tuesday, November 15

Die Already!.... FUCK!

    There's only ONE thought when I see those clouds and hear that intro song starting up... CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!! QUICK!!... God damn, the fucking Simpsons... How many more episodes does the Fox Network have to put on the air before they call it ENOUGH!??!... They have to be in season 93204756032 by now... How many topics can a cartoon family with a retarded father, a wife with bride of frankenstein hair (episode 42), and three kids that wont age, cover?!.. They've been to space, communicated with alien life, became sports stars, a musical hit, seen the future, been to hell / heaven, came back from the dead, done every "world's most _____" scenario possible, race car drivers, been on tv countless times, put numerous people in jail, the list goes on... The only novelty to watching any repeats is, if by some REMOTE chance, forgotten a line to one of the many "classics" - so you may brush up on your simpsons knowledge... Maybe one day, Jeopardy will ask Simpson trivia questions, and the pain we suffer will all be worth it...

    This guy has the right idea... I would love to wander around the city of Springfield, wherever the fuck that is, and blast everything in sight... Remember when they were interesting?... Back in Junior High when Mr. Burns was shot?.. Everyone was freaking out over the whole mystery that would be solved when summer vacation ended?... Mr. Burns died? Holy shit!... WRONG!!! NO ONE WILL EVER DIE!!!! We'll be seeing that annoying ass family when we're well into our 90s... Sitting in the retirement village, gumming our food.... and that fuckin baby will still be 2 - or however old she is... They haven't quite flooded the market yet with their millions of Simpsons games... Clue, Operation, Dominoes, Uno, Magic 8-Ball, Chess, video games, decorations.... A:L S KG FU KFUC K.. I need to go drain the vein in my forehead... Guess I'll go watch CSI: Pube Investigation with a gun in my mouth, and my big toe on the trigger...

... Peezout Dawg

Monday, November 14

Vintage Gaming Quizzage!

    I need to fuckin go to sleep... BUT NO!.. I have to be up playing with flash AGAIN!.. God... I would be a rich man if 'fuckin off' and 'wasting time' were my job... Hey, look at that, The Three Stooges is on... YES!... Oh, here's why I'll be tired as fuck in the morning:

... if all goes well, i'll sleep well tonight :D... PIECE!!

Sunday, November 13

Maf Sukz

    Well, it's another day... There has been a serious lack of activity here at Sachz Inc.. I haven't done any work this quarter in my online advanced calculus course, so I've had to spend the last couple days learning 11 weeks of course material for the final on Wednesday... I figure another 8 hours in front of the book, I should be good... ANYHOW...

    I know alot of people have been caught in the web of the online auction site eBay... I've been ripped off more times than I would like to mention... However, this guy takes "aggressive sales pitch" to a new level... The man threatened - "I know exactly where you fucking live. E-mail me again and see what happens to your little bitch ass." ... Wow... Speaking of dumbasses, people on eBay are selling the new Xbox system for over $4,000... I read that they're all sold out until 2006.. they have 3 million pre-orders, and only 400,000 units for all of North America (which is well below their 1 million projected production)... Oh, I love this [link] :

"...the outer casing of the Xbox 360 won’t have any screws and will feature a number of tamper evident labels. So if you’re a half-assed hacker that decides to crack open the box, but then decide you want to exchange it for a new one, good luck. Warranty voided, pal."

    Oh yeah... If you're already opening the system, you could pretty much say that you could give half a fuck about getting another one... When I purchased my first Xbox, I had spent over $750 in games - and not ONE of them was any good... The only game worth purchasing is Halo... So when I learned that you could 'mod' the system many years ago, and turn it into a multimedia machine, I tore that fucker open with my bare teeth... SOMETHING needed to justify all the money that I poured into the damn thing... You could guess what I don't want for Christmas - a 360... However, if you're lookin for something to get me, check out - A lockpick set, 19" Monitor, Video Card, FSM Shirt, and Processor

... I gawtta go do the maf thing naw... So I be back later... 131213 N1994!

Monday, November 7

A Big Stupid DooDoo Head!

    Another day... Another beer... Where to begin... After discussing personal finance issues (read: broke as fuck) with my wife, we came to the decision that we should either A). Eat our first born to survive another week... B). Rob a bank then buy a ton of lottery tickets... or C). Videotape ourselves having a Top Ramen eating contest then send it into ESPN so we can be the spokespeople for a new sport... Fuck it.. there are more important issues... Like how did this guy learn how to read and write?.. It's fucked how someone with the intelligence of a fruit fly can be richer than a brain surgeon, pilot, and astronaut combined... For example, the most downloaded cell phone ring for 2005 made my spellchecker go fuckin' nuts...

    Oh fuck, almost forgot, was watching this Family Guy episode for the three thousandth time when I noticed something in the background... Click the picture to see... Oh, if you have any kids at home that enjoy Pokemon, check out Circuit City this week for a free Gamecube game and sticker... Well, I have 6 weeks of Calculus homework to do, so I bes b off G.. L8z dawg... Don't forget to watch all new episodes of Aw Yeah Dawg! on Upn starting December 5th!

... the life of the wife is ended by the knife

Saturday, November 5

Introducing the Googleplex!

    It's not easy for a small company like ours to stay ahead of the competition... We aren't able to afford the upkeep on our illegal workers... They're always constantly wanting their native dishes of tortillas with stuff in them... What's with that anyhow?.. Why are there a million different names for "Tortillas with Stuff"?.. Tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas, taquitos, burritos, nachos, etc... What was I talking about?...

    OH - The All New GOOGLEPLEX!.. Razor companies have come out with their pussy ass 3 blade, 4 blade, and even 5 blade monstosities... But why stop at getting just the hair off your face... Our new Googleplex will take off 8 layers of skin so you'll never have to worry about shaving (or getting a date) again... Our Dual Purpose design will allow you to donate pints of blood while you rid yourself of your unsightly 5 o'clock shadow... Available at your local S&M store.. Pick one up today!..

    What else did we do today?.. I found this really kick ass (read: nerd) website that shows off all kinds of personalized license plates... Plus we also were helping out Sprite develop a new slogan that would better reach the youth of today - Mamato, & Obey... Let us know what you think!


Friday, November 4

Internet Fuc.... er... fun

    I believe with Phronk's link to the dress up Jesus game, I have wasted so much time online that I missed my kid's first steps, first words, first... Ah who cares?.. The internet is more important... So it felt good when I found more retarded shit to do in cyberspace... Create your own M&M just in time for the holiday season... And as you can see, I've already created my own...


Reader Mail

    I've been incredibly ill... AGAIN!... So work around here has been at a standstill.. Our migrant workers have not been performing as well as that guy on the boat said they would... I want my $50 back!.. You hear me Raul!??!?... Anyhow, on to business... Amongst all the letters that we get here at Sachz Inc., we receive only about 30% worth of comments that actually praise the hard work our employees do... People don't realize that we work our asses off 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... Being the person in charge, I have to make command decisions so we can make our deadlines; alot of the time playing the role of the bad guy and making the entire company work through the weekends and the holidays... Which makes me very sad to say that we receive alot of hate mail... Just last week I opened my inbox, deleted the flood of spam that I receive on a daily basis, and I am forced to sit and read through a ton of garbage - in hopes that some positive criticism could be attained...

Dear Mr. Sachz,

    It has come to my attention that your company is the sole manufacturer of what your company calls, "Mighty Kid" accessories. How can you sleep at night knowing that your toys are allowing children everywhere to think they can perform superhuman feats? I have purchased many Sachz Inc. products before, but I can say that I refuse to anymore. Last week, my 15 year old son Jacob (god rest his soul), put on your "Superhuman Cape" and jumped off of our 6th story balcony thinking that he could fly. The last thing that I told him was that we were out of milk, and he should go and get some at the store. Needless to say he couldn't fly and he fell straight down onto a homeless man begging for change below. Enclosed is a summons to court for your willful wrongdoings. I hope to personally see you there so I can slap the shit out of you. May god have mercy on your soul you horrible, horrible man!

-Eleanor B.
Lakeside, WI


    Well Eleanor, looks like humankind was lucky on this one... Two birds with one stone: your obviously retarded teenager and a common street peddler... I think we should get a serious tax break for performing such a service... Tell you what though, enclosed in our response is a 10% off your next Sachz Inc. purchase, and don't miss our "Baby Sweatshop" line of products due out before Christmas...

... The customer is always #1

Thursday, November 3

Can't sleep.... Sup?

    I figured that there was no more appropriate picture for this post than a frightened little asian girl clinging to her father's leg... I realize that I'm posting this on November 3rd, but Halloween kinda came and went with no real life changing experiences... It's not like when we were younger and would have competitions to see how much more candy we could get than that asshole Criag Thompson.. Fuck that guy...

    However, we can't all be as cool as these kids that got cocaine in their pumpkin pails... I know exactly what that guy was thinking though... "We're in fuckin' UTAH!!.. This'll help..." I drove through Utah once... That's about all there is to do there... These poor bastards got shot at by some old fuck that thought their costumes were real... And to finish off this happy holiday season, there's nothing quite like scaring the shit out of people to make news headlines: Turkey Virus...

... need sleepy