Tuesday, March 28

Wine-gina on Sale!

Porn Star Sells Own Wine

    This is great... Basically, this porn star wants to couple her "fame" (like anyone remembers her face) with her expertise in wine... Cuz if there's anything a porn star does better than fuck her brains out - it's making and selling her own brand of wine!

Like Movies Much?

Ultimate Movie Timeline


    Best part:

33 Jesus is crucified and raised from the dead (Jesus of Nazareth, The Passion of the Christ)

A man called Brian is crucified, and presumably not raised from the dead (Life of Brian)

Panda Crack Whore and I Don't Care

Man Paints Panda on Hair



    This is quite possibly the largest waste of time by an asian I have ever witnessed... Why are they wasting brain power on such moronic things when they could be creating artificial intelligent robots, better chess playing computers, or smoother saki?.. At least this completely pointless hobby kept him off the road...

    Fuck them for killing the curve in school!

Friday, March 24

Baa Baa Gay Sheep

    According to a recent news report, Brits are now expecting their kids to re-memorize some new lyrics for a classic nursery rhyme - "Baa Baa Black Sheep"... Apparently having a bunch of 5 year olds singing the words 'black sheep' is offending farm animals and humans alike... The words are now the inoffensive alternative "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep"...

    They apparently turned down my alternatives via e-mail:
Dear Mr. Sachz,

    We regret to inform you that changing the lyrics to the song Baa Baa Black Sheep have been turned down. We thank you for your suggestions, but the board found that Baa Baa Butt-Pirate Sheep, Baa Baa Blacky Gangsta Ass Sheep, and Baa Baa Fuckin Arab Terrorist Sheep were offensive and not kid-worthy. We hope that God may have mercy on your soul.
    Fuckin Limeys...

Okay, seriously... WTF?!?

Monument of Birth


    I'm fuckin speechless... I'm full of thoughts, but yet, none what-so-ever...

    Without starting some sort of pro-life / pro-choice argument here, what the fuck is wrong with you pro-lifers?.. In what possible way is this supposed help people with the decision of whether or not to keep their baby?.. I understand that Mrs. Spears was attractive at one time (minus the manly face), but how does that qualify her for being a poster woman for pregnancy... However, I suppose that it could be worse... He could have modeled the statue after a pregnant Star Jones...

Thursday, March 23

Good News Everyone! Xbox Live Sucks

    It always amazes me how people are willing to shell out all their hard earned money for anything that Micro$oft produces... There are so many open source alternatives to the programs the corporate big boys produce... With Windows, there's Linux... With Internet Explorer, there's Firefox... With Media Center, there's MythTV... And for Xbox Live, there's xLink Kai...

    Team xLink has created an outstanding program that rivals everything that Xbox Live provides, with none of the subscription fees, bugs, or limitations... Take from their site:
XLink Kai is a global gaming network - bringing together XBox [& Xbox 360], Playstation 2, Gamecube and PSP users, in one integrated community. It is software running on your PC or Macintosh that allows you to play system-link enabled games online for free. Kai is the only service that is not console specific, and boasts one of the friendliest communites available.
Plus, the software runs flawlessly with Xbox Media Center (also open source)... Xbox Media Center also boasts a wide range of customizations such as skins, and kick ass scripts...

"Now, if you don't mind... I think I'm gonna hurl." - Garth Algar

Answer Me Damn It!

    Sadly, Saint Patrick's Day has come and gone, but not without taking away some necessary brain cells (which apparently were responsible for controlling my basic motor functions) and like 10-15% of my liver... Speakin of which, if anyone has an extra liver, just lying around the house - hook a brutha up.. I'm AB positive...

    During my search of the internet to see if livers grow back over time, I came across Yahoo's 'Ask'... Unlike a search engine, anything that you ask it isn't guaranteed to be answered, nor do the answers come immediately... However, the questions that are answered make for a good read, such as: How to become a ninja, What driving speed gives the best fuel efficiency, or What the fuck is a Liger?... They have yet to answer any of my questions though... fuckers...

Friday, March 17

Erin Go HAI!

    Changed the format around a little, so bear with me while i catch up (it might take a while to get back to 100%).. fuck it.. on to more important news...

    Today is quite possibly one of the best days of the year - SAINT PATRICKS DAY!!.. This is the day when everyone, no matter what nationality, gender or age, come together and drink like middle aged irish men (see image)... Ah the times that have and will be had... The streets will be lined with green puke in the morning!...

"I love the smell of green puke in the morning, smells like... hangover" - Robert Duvall




Thursday, March 16

Cool internet shit of the day...

    Any computer user that browses the internet with Internet Explorer should just shoot themselves in the head... If you follow through on this, I'll even send you the cost of the bullet... To redeem your "free bullet" please read the fine print below...

    Firefox is the shit... It has stability, ease of use, and a ton of security measures... It is also well known for unlimited customizations... One of the most popular customized add-ons, GreaseMonkey - can completely change any internet page you routinely visit... Anyone that knows a little javascript code can change their browser's behavior... A little database called UserScripts.org maintains user submitted javascript customizations like: website ad removal, Google & Yahoo edits, and internet mail modifications...

    I'm fuckin sober, but alas!.. TOMORROW IS FUCKIN SAINT PATRICKS DAY!!! Mai irish asss is goan get drunck!.. Anyhow, download Firefox here if you haven't already:




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She looked like a yeti...

    Ha, no i haven't perished (yet)... I have been so god damn busy with school and work that i really haven't even given this whole internet thing a second thought, aside the research / music downloads / porn browsing... However, i did find something incredibly kick ass online this last week....

    I have been wanting lately, something to control Xbox Media Center... The xbox controller works great, but some sort of touch screen / wireless / internet capable remote is needed - A pda would cost upwards of $600, which brought me to the idea of modding a PSP (around $350 total)... Searching through all the forums and websites of creative shit people have come up with, i came across the ultimate of all psp mods - a remote control for a car... if you click around a bit, you would also info on someone who automated his house with a PSP... god, the shit [smart] people can come up with...